I am no longer holding doors open for people. I'm sick of it.
First of all how far does someone have to be for you to not have to hold the door for them? 50ft? 100ft?
Then, don't they have a responsibility to hurry up now that you are standing there holding it. Some fuckers take their own sweet time. what the fuck is that? I want to slam the guys head in the door jam five or six times when he finally gets there and watch him bleed from his eyes.
Then again, I hate when some asshole decides he will do his one good deed of the day and hold a door for me when I'm 300ft away. Now, it's cold out and I feel a responsibility to run to the door so the fucking boyscout of the year doesn't have to stand there too long. Now, I'm not in the best shape of my life so I break a sweat and I'm breathing heavy while I try to pour my fucking coffee. All because Dudley do-right decided he'd save me the monumental struggle of opening a door.
The worst is when you exit a door realizing that there was a person not far behind you...so you now have to double step it so when they come out, they see that you were way too far to have had to hold the door for them so you do not appear rude. Who the fuck am I fooling? The door is glass, they can see.
Of course you can get yourself in trouble holding doors too. You hold a door for a guy and then the next five people hurry up to get in and you are magically transformed into the goddamn doorman at the Hilton. I hate that shit. I was holding it for one fucking guy! Not the entire New York Jets, you fuckers! Now you have to try to make eye contact with someone to pass the door off like a goddamn baton in a relay race. Of course everyone is in on the joke so they all look down at their feet. i feel like putting on white gloves and holding my hand out.
I need this shit first thing in the morning? that's it, no more door holding for me!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
So I had to go through Airport Security Today
Seems, they really are buckling down which is for our safety, but it makes not fucking sense the way they are doing it. i had to go from NY to Boston on business today for a day trip.
first, they were giving a 65 yr old man hell because he compiled his medication into one bottle instead of having the separate bottles for each medication...I know you are supposed to carry the bottle on you, but come on! Give a guy a break, I didn't know the DEA's job was being done by the TSA now.
Secondly the most important is that 50 feet away from my terminal, I bought a bottle of water. Now I know we can't bring liquids onto the plane, but (silly me) I assume if you buy it after the security checkpoint that they know it didn't come from outside the airport since they are confiscating those items at security, So I didn't open it.
Of course, it was taken away from me as entering the plane. I said, "i didn't open it, I bought it right there, here's the receipt". The TSA agent with an armed army soldier next to him said "laughingly", I know, I know, but you can add a substance to the water after you get on the plane maing it a solvent or whatever.
SO here's the punchline...10 minutes after takeoff the stuartess came around and i asked her for a bottle of water...she gave it to me.
What the fuck? is there something different about the water on the airplane from the water in the giftshop next to the airplane?
I don't mind, i'd rather not blow up, but come on...use common sense, typical US government.
first, they were giving a 65 yr old man hell because he compiled his medication into one bottle instead of having the separate bottles for each medication...I know you are supposed to carry the bottle on you, but come on! Give a guy a break, I didn't know the DEA's job was being done by the TSA now.
Secondly the most important is that 50 feet away from my terminal, I bought a bottle of water. Now I know we can't bring liquids onto the plane, but (silly me) I assume if you buy it after the security checkpoint that they know it didn't come from outside the airport since they are confiscating those items at security, So I didn't open it.
Of course, it was taken away from me as entering the plane. I said, "i didn't open it, I bought it right there, here's the receipt". The TSA agent with an armed army soldier next to him said "laughingly", I know, I know, but you can add a substance to the water after you get on the plane maing it a solvent or whatever.
SO here's the punchline...10 minutes after takeoff the stuartess came around and i asked her for a bottle of water...she gave it to me.
What the fuck? is there something different about the water on the airplane from the water in the giftshop next to the airplane?
I don't mind, i'd rather not blow up, but come on...use common sense, typical US government.
Who has fucking block parties???
I thought I escaped this barbaric crap when I moved to the north shore of LI...the people down the block near the entrance of the development are having a block party today, causing me to go all the way around the development to get out.
I am sorry that I am a party pooper and a social recluse, but a bunch of idiots standing around the street drinking beer complaining about how their "boss" is an asshole while their kids are in that stupid fuckin blowup jumping castle so they don't have to watch them, while there wives talk about how they don't get fucked anymore is just not part of my culture. You know what I just might do?, I just might "be a good neighbor" have a fucking miller light and talk about how conversions are down and triple anal is now all the craze. That'll put a halt to their festivities now won't it.
I moved to an exclusive neighborhood to avoid these cretin only to be bottled in by them. Have your party in your yard and get the fuck off my road!
And don't even get me started about parades. Fuck parades! Blocking my roads and cause traffic so the goddamn high school band can play their god forsaken out of tune music somewhere, and the local veterans can take the uniforms from 1943 out of mothballs to [Barely] walk down the street really pisses me off. Isn't there a local Elks lodge they can go to? When I was a kid we walked down and took a look when there was a parade (usually to see the fire trucks..."oooo look at the pretty lights"!)and it lasted 15 minutes, but now it's a whole day affair. these assholes take folding chairs and coolers like they are online for fucking Grateful dead tickets. Can't people just stay the fuck home and let me drive my car?
And I'll tell you one thing. If that awful 80's pop, and wedding music plays one minute after 10pm and can be heard from my house, out comes the Mossberg 500, and i'm not shitting either.
I am sorry that I am a party pooper and a social recluse, but a bunch of idiots standing around the street drinking beer complaining about how their "boss" is an asshole while their kids are in that stupid fuckin blowup jumping castle so they don't have to watch them, while there wives talk about how they don't get fucked anymore is just not part of my culture. You know what I just might do?, I just might "be a good neighbor" have a fucking miller light and talk about how conversions are down and triple anal is now all the craze. That'll put a halt to their festivities now won't it.
I moved to an exclusive neighborhood to avoid these cretin only to be bottled in by them. Have your party in your yard and get the fuck off my road!
And don't even get me started about parades. Fuck parades! Blocking my roads and cause traffic so the goddamn high school band can play their god forsaken out of tune music somewhere, and the local veterans can take the uniforms from 1943 out of mothballs to [Barely] walk down the street really pisses me off. Isn't there a local Elks lodge they can go to? When I was a kid we walked down and took a look when there was a parade (usually to see the fire trucks..."oooo look at the pretty lights"!)and it lasted 15 minutes, but now it's a whole day affair. these assholes take folding chairs and coolers like they are online for fucking Grateful dead tickets. Can't people just stay the fuck home and let me drive my car?
And I'll tell you one thing. If that awful 80's pop, and wedding music plays one minute after 10pm and can be heard from my house, out comes the Mossberg 500, and i'm not shitting either.
Talk about annoying shit!
I stop into the supermarket to grab a few things real quick, and there they are...these groups that set up shop at the exit of a supermarket or convenience store to try and sell you something. You see them going in and now you're like "fuck, I have to deal with these assholes on the way out". Now when you leave, and they jump right in front of you. "Excuse me sir we represent the foundation for children's cancer"...CHILDREN'S CANCER? Now how can I walk away without even listening to the story, I'd feel like a total heel. The (young attractive) girl gives you the bullshit story about children suffering and finding a cure blah blah blah etc. etc. etc. and the whole time you are just thinking "I wonder if she has a landing strip or smooth shave".
Now she gets down to business, and let me tell you...remember the good ol days when they asked for $1? Those days are over my friend! Now they have this ever cute teddy that would be a great gift for a girlfriend, wife or kids for a mere $75, and you'd be helping to save a kids life (Jesus! talk about a guilt trip). Meanwhile your just hoping one of her tit's pops out, or as she bends over to grab one of these sweatshop made pieces of shit from the box under the table that you may catch a glimpse of some nip so you feel you weren't completely robbed.
Now what do you do? You can say no, but you are a dick. You say you have no cash on you...NO PROBLEM, these bitches take credit cards now! They know you were shopping and have your card on you. You're fucked, plain and simple. I wanna say " lady I can get three lap dances and a reach around for this, take the animal and stuff it up your ass!" that would be worth $75.
So you take out your wallet and get taken for your hard earned cash. They use cute girls on purpose because they know we cannot say no. The fat old veteran selling those stupid memorial roses I can walk right by, no problem, fuck him. So, he got shot at 100 years ago. Big deal. the civil war has been over for a long time now. But the girl is so much harder to be rude to. And you can't back out gently, because women are the best at using guilt, they use guilt the way an artist uses paint or clay. They are truly Picasso's in art of making you feel undeserving of everything you have.
Now you walk away after spending $26.97 in the store and it was a $100 trip for you. Plus the stuffed animal you have, which looks like a cross between a monkey and a moose, is so ugly and cheaply made by the Taiwanese children in the factory over seas that you don't even know what the fuck it is. You can't give a mutated animal to a kid so you give it to your dog to chew on...
You want my donation? advertise on TV, put an ad in the paper, don't accost me at the supermarket. The next time it happens I think I may just ask the girl if it comes with a blowjob and then proceed to unzip my fly just to see if that shuts her the fuck up. But I doubt it.
Now she gets down to business, and let me tell you...remember the good ol days when they asked for $1? Those days are over my friend! Now they have this ever cute teddy that would be a great gift for a girlfriend, wife or kids for a mere $75, and you'd be helping to save a kids life (Jesus! talk about a guilt trip). Meanwhile your just hoping one of her tit's pops out, or as she bends over to grab one of these sweatshop made pieces of shit from the box under the table that you may catch a glimpse of some nip so you feel you weren't completely robbed.
Now what do you do? You can say no, but you are a dick. You say you have no cash on you...NO PROBLEM, these bitches take credit cards now! They know you were shopping and have your card on you. You're fucked, plain and simple. I wanna say " lady I can get three lap dances and a reach around for this, take the animal and stuff it up your ass!" that would be worth $75.
So you take out your wallet and get taken for your hard earned cash. They use cute girls on purpose because they know we cannot say no. The fat old veteran selling those stupid memorial roses I can walk right by, no problem, fuck him. So, he got shot at 100 years ago. Big deal. the civil war has been over for a long time now. But the girl is so much harder to be rude to. And you can't back out gently, because women are the best at using guilt, they use guilt the way an artist uses paint or clay. They are truly Picasso's in art of making you feel undeserving of everything you have.
Now you walk away after spending $26.97 in the store and it was a $100 trip for you. Plus the stuffed animal you have, which looks like a cross between a monkey and a moose, is so ugly and cheaply made by the Taiwanese children in the factory over seas that you don't even know what the fuck it is. You can't give a mutated animal to a kid so you give it to your dog to chew on...
You want my donation? advertise on TV, put an ad in the paper, don't accost me at the supermarket. The next time it happens I think I may just ask the girl if it comes with a blowjob and then proceed to unzip my fly just to see if that shuts her the fuck up. But I doubt it.
Why Superman Returns sucked!, and how it could've been good [spoiler]
DISCLAIMER: If you didn't see it yet, don't read this. It'll ruin the movie for you.
If someone else made these comments earlier, I apologize, I haven't been on the board in a while, I just saw the movie an hour ago and have to vent a bit about this piece of crap before I grab the theater owner and shake my $13.00 form his dumb vest wearing ass.
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Anyway...I thought this movie was the biggest blunder in superhero/high special effect movies history. Worst than that fuck up of a "filler" movie Matrix III was. Here's why.
#1) They give away the fact that the kid is superman's son waaaay to early. The whole fuckin time I'm waiting for the kid to spring into action, saving them all and become the new superhero to eventually succeed his father yet the kid doesn't do a damn thing. Bad move having him throw the piano 2/3's into the Movie, and then being able to do nothing the rest of the movie (except the life giving kiss which I'll address in a second). fuckin stupid.
#2) They have Superman "save the day" waaaay too goddamn early in the movie, Him carrying the big chunk of earth into outer space foiling luthers plans should be saved for the last fifteen minutes of the movie in a heart-thumping turn of events that makes your adrenaline flow and you say "FUCK YES!!!!" under your breath. Not this B.S. that the end of the movie is this "will he live or not" crap, and then wooopeee he is still alive yaaaay. very gay and disappointing. It was almost a chick flick for christ sakes.
Now I'm no director, but Here's how I think the superman movie should gone.
First off, no hint of the kid having super powers at all until superman is in the hospital (maybe the comment by Luther just to place some doubt). Anything earlier just leaves you waiting for the kid to do something.
Second, The defeat of superman by lex should have ended him up in the hospital directly and with Luther still winning in his plans, None of that shit with the regular guy going back with his sea plane to save him, not believable and boring.
Now, with Lex about to take over the world and superman almost flat lined back home(Maybe even not almost flat lined...maybe dead, period), Louis cries over him and kisses him...nothing happens of course. Then the kid runs up kisses superman (Maybe you hear [in superman's head], Superman's father say something to do with what would happen if he has a half human son or something) and POW! the flat line shows beats, the machine starts beeping, his eyes open (music cues in) everyone gasps...the kid IS superman's son! He stands up, brushes himself off and say's, to the shocked Louis, kid and few people that have rushed into the room "I'd love to stick around, but I have some unfinished business to take care of". Now, he flies straight up through the fucking movie, zooms at amazing speed back to the island, slams underground, throws it into outer space (with some trouble from the Kryptonite, but barely making it OK). He foils luthers plans and saves the day in a heart thumping score of the full blown superman sound track making you jump out of your seat with fist raised "Fuckin A!" Then you can of course have your little scene of how Lex ends up stranded on the island for humor reasons.
AND THEN...at the end have the little scene where is talks to the sleeping kid, pronounces and confirms that the kid is his, and he flies off into the night, Looks to the screen like we expect, and the credits come up. You walk out wanting to be him if you are a guy, and "wanting" him if you are a woman.
Remember Superman two, where he crushes Zod's hand and the music Cues in...your adrenaline rushes and heart beats fast, it all makes sense! He tricked them using Luther. That's what i'm talking about! That didn't happen in this "half-a-fag" movie they are pawning on us as a new superman movie!
I walked out less than impressed, thinking the best part of the movie was the machine gun scene. And, wondering why in gods name he had to be away for five years in the first place...two thumbs down!
That's my two cents.
If someone else made these comments earlier, I apologize, I haven't been on the board in a while, I just saw the movie an hour ago and have to vent a bit about this piece of crap before I grab the theater owner and shake my $13.00 form his dumb vest wearing ass.
----------------------------------
Anyway...I thought this movie was the biggest blunder in superhero/high special effect movies history. Worst than that fuck up of a "filler" movie Matrix III was. Here's why.
#1) They give away the fact that the kid is superman's son waaaay to early. The whole fuckin time I'm waiting for the kid to spring into action, saving them all and become the new superhero to eventually succeed his father yet the kid doesn't do a damn thing. Bad move having him throw the piano 2/3's into the Movie, and then being able to do nothing the rest of the movie (except the life giving kiss which I'll address in a second). fuckin stupid.
#2) They have Superman "save the day" waaaay too goddamn early in the movie, Him carrying the big chunk of earth into outer space foiling luthers plans should be saved for the last fifteen minutes of the movie in a heart-thumping turn of events that makes your adrenaline flow and you say "FUCK YES!!!!" under your breath. Not this B.S. that the end of the movie is this "will he live or not" crap, and then wooopeee he is still alive yaaaay. very gay and disappointing. It was almost a chick flick for christ sakes.
Now I'm no director, but Here's how I think the superman movie should gone.
First off, no hint of the kid having super powers at all until superman is in the hospital (maybe the comment by Luther just to place some doubt). Anything earlier just leaves you waiting for the kid to do something.
Second, The defeat of superman by lex should have ended him up in the hospital directly and with Luther still winning in his plans, None of that shit with the regular guy going back with his sea plane to save him, not believable and boring.
Now, with Lex about to take over the world and superman almost flat lined back home(Maybe even not almost flat lined...maybe dead, period), Louis cries over him and kisses him...nothing happens of course. Then the kid runs up kisses superman (Maybe you hear [in superman's head], Superman's father say something to do with what would happen if he has a half human son or something) and POW! the flat line shows beats, the machine starts beeping, his eyes open (music cues in) everyone gasps...the kid IS superman's son! He stands up, brushes himself off and say's, to the shocked Louis, kid and few people that have rushed into the room "I'd love to stick around, but I have some unfinished business to take care of". Now, he flies straight up through the fucking movie, zooms at amazing speed back to the island, slams underground, throws it into outer space (with some trouble from the Kryptonite, but barely making it OK). He foils luthers plans and saves the day in a heart thumping score of the full blown superman sound track making you jump out of your seat with fist raised "Fuckin A!" Then you can of course have your little scene of how Lex ends up stranded on the island for humor reasons.
AND THEN...at the end have the little scene where is talks to the sleeping kid, pronounces and confirms that the kid is his, and he flies off into the night, Looks to the screen like we expect, and the credits come up. You walk out wanting to be him if you are a guy, and "wanting" him if you are a woman.
Remember Superman two, where he crushes Zod's hand and the music Cues in...your adrenaline rushes and heart beats fast, it all makes sense! He tricked them using Luther. That's what i'm talking about! That didn't happen in this "half-a-fag" movie they are pawning on us as a new superman movie!
I walked out less than impressed, thinking the best part of the movie was the machine gun scene. And, wondering why in gods name he had to be away for five years in the first place...two thumbs down!
That's my two cents.
Fuck St. Patricks day!
I'm gonna take heat for this...but then again...I really don't give a fuck.
I Hate St. Patrick's day!(And I refuse to say St. Paddy's day, It's stupid)
First off I hate these goddamn days where everyone is so fucking proud of the country they came from. If you love it so much, go the fuck back! you know why you are here? Because you ancestors fled or escaped some really sucky place to come to America, that's why! If you live in the USA, It's because it fucking sucked wherever you came from.
Second, everyone is so proud to be Irish. If I were Irish, I'd be so embarrassed I'd dye my ugly fucking red hair and pretend to be something else. Ireland can't fight to save it's life, is "occupied" by England to this very day, Is rampant with terrorism, And if that's not enough, the national holiday revolves around Saint Patrick, a pagan slave which spent most of his life locked up, "found god" like most criminals, and the rest of it spreading the brainwashing disease of Christianity. Gee Thanks!
Not to mention that the Irish are know for being drunks...now maybe I'm getting old, but Is substance abuse something to be proud of? That's a reason to put on a stupid fucking green hat and run around with a shamrock like some drunk fucking retard?
And I'll tell you another thing. Anytime I see the asshole (and there's always one of them) that thinks it's cute to put the "Kiss me I'm Irish" button on his crotch area, I kick him straight in the nuts.
As you can tell I'm not really the "social" type, so don't take offense if you are Irish. believe me, A ton of people want to say what I just said, but don't have the balls. And as a final note "It's Saint Patrick's day" is not an excuse to get drunk and drive a car...take a cab.
That's all I have to say for now.
I Hate St. Patrick's day!(And I refuse to say St. Paddy's day, It's stupid)
First off I hate these goddamn days where everyone is so fucking proud of the country they came from. If you love it so much, go the fuck back! you know why you are here? Because you ancestors fled or escaped some really sucky place to come to America, that's why! If you live in the USA, It's because it fucking sucked wherever you came from.
Second, everyone is so proud to be Irish. If I were Irish, I'd be so embarrassed I'd dye my ugly fucking red hair and pretend to be something else. Ireland can't fight to save it's life, is "occupied" by England to this very day, Is rampant with terrorism, And if that's not enough, the national holiday revolves around Saint Patrick, a pagan slave which spent most of his life locked up, "found god" like most criminals, and the rest of it spreading the brainwashing disease of Christianity. Gee Thanks!
Not to mention that the Irish are know for being drunks...now maybe I'm getting old, but Is substance abuse something to be proud of? That's a reason to put on a stupid fucking green hat and run around with a shamrock like some drunk fucking retard?
And I'll tell you another thing. Anytime I see the asshole (and there's always one of them) that thinks it's cute to put the "Kiss me I'm Irish" button on his crotch area, I kick him straight in the nuts.
As you can tell I'm not really the "social" type, so don't take offense if you are Irish. believe me, A ton of people want to say what I just said, but don't have the balls. And as a final note "It's Saint Patrick's day" is not an excuse to get drunk and drive a car...take a cab.
That's all I have to say for now.
Racial conspiracy on the news?
Ok, so as much as I hate the phony plastic fucking news reporters, and would rather cut off my own dick than watch the news, I still got stuck watching the news all afternoon because of this damn MTA strike going on.
I know what you are thinking....shut it off, put on HBO or a DVD...well I couldn't, you see I am attracted to bullshit like moths to a LIGHT!. So I watched.
I was shocked and amazed to see that there are no more blacks in this country!, and no more whites!, also you guessed it, no more Asians. Every news reporter (at least here on local channels in ny) looks sorta something but you can't really commit to it. If they have black features, they are lighter than me, if they have dark skin, they have white features. And the Asian reporters all look light a Jewish woman squinting. What the fuck?
Am I supposed to believe that they pick these phony fucks from the island of racial misfits or some shit like that?
We all know just why they do it. So they can comment on ANY situation and not be called a racist. JESUS CHRIST are we so afraid of being different that we are representing ourselves on TV as marginally different. sorta black and kinda white. If you are going to put a black guy up there, give me Snoop! make it interesting
"Yo my niggah, 2 niggah's got bucked the fuck up at 34th and 8th today when some crackhead ho was fronten on his ass"[pause for smoking] psssss. Tonight at 11!......niggah! Also 10 ways to get your ho all up in yo shit on the holidays in our exclusive story "10 ways to get your ho all up in yo shit on the holidays"
You know what i'm saying. They have been molding these robotic blank people that have no personality for years, now they have no race either. Are they going to fool us into thinking racism is over because we are all one race after all...fucking unbelievable.
Sick of TV, sick of it! I almost broke out my 9 and popped like five holes right in the bitch, then I remembered how much the fucker cost me. Plus my 4yo son was right there and...well...if I missed I would've been embarrassed in front of him.
I know what you are thinking....shut it off, put on HBO or a DVD...well I couldn't, you see I am attracted to bullshit like moths to a LIGHT!. So I watched.
I was shocked and amazed to see that there are no more blacks in this country!, and no more whites!, also you guessed it, no more Asians. Every news reporter (at least here on local channels in ny) looks sorta something but you can't really commit to it. If they have black features, they are lighter than me, if they have dark skin, they have white features. And the Asian reporters all look light a Jewish woman squinting. What the fuck?
Am I supposed to believe that they pick these phony fucks from the island of racial misfits or some shit like that?
We all know just why they do it. So they can comment on ANY situation and not be called a racist. JESUS CHRIST are we so afraid of being different that we are representing ourselves on TV as marginally different. sorta black and kinda white. If you are going to put a black guy up there, give me Snoop! make it interesting
"Yo my niggah, 2 niggah's got bucked the fuck up at 34th and 8th today when some crackhead ho was fronten on his ass"[pause for smoking] psssss. Tonight at 11!......niggah! Also 10 ways to get your ho all up in yo shit on the holidays in our exclusive story "10 ways to get your ho all up in yo shit on the holidays"
You know what i'm saying. They have been molding these robotic blank people that have no personality for years, now they have no race either. Are they going to fool us into thinking racism is over because we are all one race after all...fucking unbelievable.
Sick of TV, sick of it! I almost broke out my 9 and popped like five holes right in the bitch, then I remembered how much the fucker cost me. Plus my 4yo son was right there and...well...if I missed I would've been embarrassed in front of him.
Fuck Christmas...Yea, I said it
That's right...fuck XMAS!
It is an archaic throwback to the pre-Christian pagan era "Yule" that was adapted to be a Christian holiday so the church didn't have to torture every poor fucker in the entire western world like Easter and a few other holidays. The even changed his name to Saint Nick...what bullshit. Plus most little kids are scared shitlessof the crazy fuck and cry their asses off.
But that is not what get's my goat. It is the fact that people turn into mindless alien robots with strict orders from the mother ship to consume more goods then they can afford to feed power into the hands of the wealthy.
The worst part is the "life or death" mentality they use to get a bunch of shit they don't need, that they can't afford, for people they don't give a shit about.
I shop mostly online, But I was sucked into store shopping at the mall couple days ago. The traffic was ridiculous, I don't mean bad, or heavy...I mean break out a fucking grenade launcher and kill that slow driving old lady causing all these people to want to kill each other! Jesus Christ!
Even if you make it to the store it's a whole fucking experience. You get your cart grab a few thing, turn down a dangerously narrow aisle, and there she is Lane Blocking Lady. Does she know she can pull the cart to one side to let others get through? Or is she so self absorbed that my schedule is not even remotely thought of. Just pick a fucking color of my little pony and move on lady! I want to grab one of those fake light sabers and jam it straight up her ass and turn it on.
But I don't, I bite my lip and wait a second or two, clear my thought hoping to get her attention, then move in with the "excuse me"... Now she looks at me like I told her to fuck her mother or something! One sec Hun, she says with attitude "I'll only be a minute". You know what a minute is to an old lady? I want to go postal at this point! Finally she moves and I'm on my way. Not you get to the "end cap" this is the end of the aisle where those much anticipated items are sold, you know furbees, cabbage patch (when they were big) etc. etc.
This is an amazing sight, you've seen it on TV. Grown men rolling around on the floor wrestling toys away from each other. I though it was some sort of all male mud wrestling and grabbed my camera for the content.
After surviving the front line, you get to check out. I won't give you the usual things, like check lady, or coupon lady, or even "I have to run out to my car" guy. But for the love of all that is holy:
pay the fucking girl and get out of the way!
pay the fucking girl and get out of the way!
pay the fucking girl and get out of the way!
NO, some stand there counting their change, some making sure they got every thing, and of course the guy who thinks he was over charged but just didn't read the sign right. I like to torture that guy by shouting to him "hey how much are those?" These people are going to get jacked up someday by someone, I'm telling you. It just might be by me.
So you pay and start to walk to your car, and as you do you notice you are being shadowed by two other vehicles figuring they'll steal your spot. Know what I do? I fake me out every few cars or so pretending to put the key in the door, then walk away. This idiot was all in position to take the spot and now he's all jammed up trying to re-align. Plus I went to the next aisle so he has to quickly drive around to that side. once he's there, I go right back...big laughs. The paring is so bad that he will stick with it for a while...lol
It is an archaic throwback to the pre-Christian pagan era "Yule" that was adapted to be a Christian holiday so the church didn't have to torture every poor fucker in the entire western world like Easter and a few other holidays. The even changed his name to Saint Nick...what bullshit. Plus most little kids are scared shitlessof the crazy fuck and cry their asses off.
But that is not what get's my goat. It is the fact that people turn into mindless alien robots with strict orders from the mother ship to consume more goods then they can afford to feed power into the hands of the wealthy.
The worst part is the "life or death" mentality they use to get a bunch of shit they don't need, that they can't afford, for people they don't give a shit about.
I shop mostly online, But I was sucked into store shopping at the mall couple days ago. The traffic was ridiculous, I don't mean bad, or heavy...I mean break out a fucking grenade launcher and kill that slow driving old lady causing all these people to want to kill each other! Jesus Christ!
Even if you make it to the store it's a whole fucking experience. You get your cart grab a few thing, turn down a dangerously narrow aisle, and there she is Lane Blocking Lady. Does she know she can pull the cart to one side to let others get through? Or is she so self absorbed that my schedule is not even remotely thought of. Just pick a fucking color of my little pony and move on lady! I want to grab one of those fake light sabers and jam it straight up her ass and turn it on.
But I don't, I bite my lip and wait a second or two, clear my thought hoping to get her attention, then move in with the "excuse me"... Now she looks at me like I told her to fuck her mother or something! One sec Hun, she says with attitude "I'll only be a minute". You know what a minute is to an old lady? I want to go postal at this point! Finally she moves and I'm on my way. Not you get to the "end cap" this is the end of the aisle where those much anticipated items are sold, you know furbees, cabbage patch (when they were big) etc. etc.
This is an amazing sight, you've seen it on TV. Grown men rolling around on the floor wrestling toys away from each other. I though it was some sort of all male mud wrestling and grabbed my camera for the content.
After surviving the front line, you get to check out. I won't give you the usual things, like check lady, or coupon lady, or even "I have to run out to my car" guy. But for the love of all that is holy:
pay the fucking girl and get out of the way!
pay the fucking girl and get out of the way!
pay the fucking girl and get out of the way!
NO, some stand there counting their change, some making sure they got every thing, and of course the guy who thinks he was over charged but just didn't read the sign right. I like to torture that guy by shouting to him "hey how much are those?" These people are going to get jacked up someday by someone, I'm telling you. It just might be by me.
So you pay and start to walk to your car, and as you do you notice you are being shadowed by two other vehicles figuring they'll steal your spot. Know what I do? I fake me out every few cars or so pretending to put the key in the door, then walk away. This idiot was all in position to take the spot and now he's all jammed up trying to re-align. Plus I went to the next aisle so he has to quickly drive around to that side. once he's there, I go right back...big laughs. The paring is so bad that he will stick with it for a while...lol
The Pope and Easter
Now, I promised myself I'd try to lay off with my extreme views regarding religion, and although I usually keep promises...sorry, I coudn't resist. Plus, what fun is that?
To deny you myself and my opinions, would be a great injustice, for if I enlighten just one surfer, I've lived a meaningful life. Ha ha ha.
Anyway Let start with Easter...what a bunch of fucking bullshit! Easter has Nothing, nada, zip, to do with the tyranny of Christianity. It was celebrated for thousands of years by pagans long before the massive mind control machine called the catholic church swept the globe clean of choice and dignity.
With that said, take off the stupid fuckin bonnet, and suit. And if you don't go to church for a fresh re-installment of propaganda on a weekly basis, then don't bother running out on Easter Sunday to show your family and neighbors that you are a "good Christian"...you are a fake and full of shit. Get robbed of your freedom of choice every Sunday, not just Easter Sunday which isn't your holiday anyway! If you did, shame on you.
Like most holiday's, Easter is one more that was forced to represent something having to do with Christ because the church knew damn well that Europeans were not going to stop celebrating it, and hell...they can't torture and kill everyone now can they? Who would fill those collection bowls. It makes me sick.
Ok, Now onto our cherished pope. First off the guy is barely alive, I would not be surprised if Henson Studios has a hand in his recent appearances. In fact he's probably been gone for years now. I am pretty sure I could see the cables in those newspaper photos where he lifts his hand.
And now everyone prays for the pope...when he finally does pass, ooooh the news is going to go nuts, all-night ceremonies, people crying, all that shit. It makes me wonder. QUESTION: If the Nazi's succeeded in WWII and ruled Europe today, exterminated 1/3 of the world population, and enforced it's socialist mind control views on us all. Would the world be mourning the sickness and eventual death of the furor?
Now I would hope your answer to the question above would be "Hell no!". But yet the pope is the leader of an organization that is credited with the genocidal extermination of upwards of 68,000,000 people mostly tortured until they begged for death. Not to mention the view of the church really don't differ all that much from the nazi philosophy. Take a look at the outline of Mein Kampf...change the words "nazi party" with "catholic church" and the name "God" with "the furor" and you'll see quite interestingly similar pieces of work. (seriousely, find some Nazi writing online and do a word replacement).
one blames the Jews, the other blames "Sinners, non-believers" or the devil an imaginary character that can be projected onto (or into) anyone that opposes the views of the church...how convenient.
But let me be clear, as a human being, I feel bad for the pope. I hope his life ends painlessly and peacefully. When he passes, I hope that being the figure head of a tyrannical mind controlling cult organization that caused such terror, oppression and death in our past several centuries helped him to grow in some way and does not effect him negatively in the next place. I do not hold what he represents against him, and I know that karmically it was meant to be.
As For Easter, it's crap people!..realize it now, embrace it. It's a fun thing to do with the kids, eggs, and bunnies...that's it! "God" has no hand in it.
To deny you myself and my opinions, would be a great injustice, for if I enlighten just one surfer, I've lived a meaningful life. Ha ha ha.
Anyway Let start with Easter...what a bunch of fucking bullshit! Easter has Nothing, nada, zip, to do with the tyranny of Christianity. It was celebrated for thousands of years by pagans long before the massive mind control machine called the catholic church swept the globe clean of choice and dignity.
With that said, take off the stupid fuckin bonnet, and suit. And if you don't go to church for a fresh re-installment of propaganda on a weekly basis, then don't bother running out on Easter Sunday to show your family and neighbors that you are a "good Christian"...you are a fake and full of shit. Get robbed of your freedom of choice every Sunday, not just Easter Sunday which isn't your holiday anyway! If you did, shame on you.
Like most holiday's, Easter is one more that was forced to represent something having to do with Christ because the church knew damn well that Europeans were not going to stop celebrating it, and hell...they can't torture and kill everyone now can they? Who would fill those collection bowls. It makes me sick.
Ok, Now onto our cherished pope. First off the guy is barely alive, I would not be surprised if Henson Studios has a hand in his recent appearances. In fact he's probably been gone for years now. I am pretty sure I could see the cables in those newspaper photos where he lifts his hand.
And now everyone prays for the pope...when he finally does pass, ooooh the news is going to go nuts, all-night ceremonies, people crying, all that shit. It makes me wonder. QUESTION: If the Nazi's succeeded in WWII and ruled Europe today, exterminated 1/3 of the world population, and enforced it's socialist mind control views on us all. Would the world be mourning the sickness and eventual death of the furor?
Now I would hope your answer to the question above would be "Hell no!". But yet the pope is the leader of an organization that is credited with the genocidal extermination of upwards of 68,000,000 people mostly tortured until they begged for death. Not to mention the view of the church really don't differ all that much from the nazi philosophy. Take a look at the outline of Mein Kampf...change the words "nazi party" with "catholic church" and the name "God" with "the furor" and you'll see quite interestingly similar pieces of work. (seriousely, find some Nazi writing online and do a word replacement).
one blames the Jews, the other blames "Sinners, non-believers" or the devil an imaginary character that can be projected onto (or into) anyone that opposes the views of the church...how convenient.
But let me be clear, as a human being, I feel bad for the pope. I hope his life ends painlessly and peacefully. When he passes, I hope that being the figure head of a tyrannical mind controlling cult organization that caused such terror, oppression and death in our past several centuries helped him to grow in some way and does not effect him negatively in the next place. I do not hold what he represents against him, and I know that karmically it was meant to be.
As For Easter, it's crap people!..realize it now, embrace it. It's a fun thing to do with the kids, eggs, and bunnies...that's it! "God" has no hand in it.
Tic-Tac ediquette...Do you Have Class???
OK, It appears a lot of people do not know this but there is a very strict rule set associated with tic-tacs. They are an integrated part of our culture and you can tell a lot about a person by their knowledge of these rules. you can also tell a lot about how you land on their social ladder by how they use them.
Now I may have left out a few, so add them if you see that I have missed anything.
Definitions:
1-The Tacker (Noun): the person giving the tic tacs.
2-The Tackee (Noun): The person getting the tic tacs.
3-To Tac (verb) to give or take tic tacs depending on the context.
4-To Double tac: to take two or more tic tacs.
5-The Show (Noun): To do the "Show" (verb): To make the taking of someone's tic tacs visible so they san see how many you took
6-The hand over (Verb/Noun): to hand someone your tic tacs allowing them to "tac" themselves.
7-To Host the tac (verb/noun): Where the tacker holds the box and taps out the tacs for the tackee
8-over-tacker, to over-tac(noun/verb): a person who, during a hosted tac, gives way too many tic tacs. two or three is good.
9-to re-tac(verb): to tac, close or lift the box, the tac again.
Basic Rules for the Tackee:
---------------------------
1-Never Double tac on a first time hand over, it shows greed and a compromise of the person's trust who did the hand over.
2-Always do the show on a first time hand over. You don't have to make it to openly blatent, just make the tac visible so they know they can trust you for the hand over the next time (at which time you MAY double, or even triple Tac).
3-Never do a third party handover unless you know the person. If they are a good friend, then the handover for you was good for them too. Make sure they single tac and show, as not to embarrass you.
4-If you drop a tic tac during a self tac it is ok to re-tac as long as you follow the rules above. never pick it up and eat it, and NEVER pick up a bunch and put them back in the box.
5-NEVER ask for a handover when a hosted tac is attempted, in some cultures you can be stoned to death for this.
Basic Rules for the Tacker:
--------------------------
1-Don't be a single Tacker! if you are hosting the tac, never single tac, it's shows you are cheap. I've decided not to do business deals with people because they were single tackers...what does it say about you?
2-Don't be a over-tacker. This ties into number 3. Don't give someone more than three tacs...it's considered showing off (very...tacky).
3-Always offer a handover after the first or second hosted tac. Unless they double tacked first time out or didn't do the show on a hand over, then you always host the tac. If they can't follow the rules...fuck em.
4-Never do a hosted Tac on your own hand. Unless you are doing a third party hosted tac and don't trust that they will do a show and avoid double tacking therefore getting your hand over privileges revoked.
5-If you drop a tic tac during a hosted tac it is ok to re-tac as long as you follow the rules above. Same rules apply about picking the dropped tac(s) up.
6-If a person follows the protocol on a first time hand over it's ok to ask them to take more then one if you like. In this case, it IS insulting not to accept and take a second tac (nobody refuses a second tac, if you do, seek help immediately).
7-It is expected that if you know the person for more than five years, or are a blood relative of first cousin or closer that you do the handover automatically.
8-A show is never expected by direct relatives even on a first time tac.
9-Always offer others in visible site some tic-tacs if you are doing a hand over, don't put the poor tackee in the uncomfortable position of not tacking others when they are not even his tacs to tac.
Let me know if I missed any...
Now I may have left out a few, so add them if you see that I have missed anything.
Definitions:
1-The Tacker (Noun): the person giving the tic tacs.
2-The Tackee (Noun): The person getting the tic tacs.
3-To Tac (verb) to give or take tic tacs depending on the context.
4-To Double tac: to take two or more tic tacs.
5-The Show (Noun): To do the "Show" (verb): To make the taking of someone's tic tacs visible so they san see how many you took
6-The hand over (Verb/Noun): to hand someone your tic tacs allowing them to "tac" themselves.
7-To Host the tac (verb/noun): Where the tacker holds the box and taps out the tacs for the tackee
8-over-tacker, to over-tac(noun/verb): a person who, during a hosted tac, gives way too many tic tacs. two or three is good.
9-to re-tac(verb): to tac, close or lift the box, the tac again.
Basic Rules for the Tackee:
---------------------------
1-Never Double tac on a first time hand over, it shows greed and a compromise of the person's trust who did the hand over.
2-Always do the show on a first time hand over. You don't have to make it to openly blatent, just make the tac visible so they know they can trust you for the hand over the next time (at which time you MAY double, or even triple Tac).
3-Never do a third party handover unless you know the person. If they are a good friend, then the handover for you was good for them too. Make sure they single tac and show, as not to embarrass you.
4-If you drop a tic tac during a self tac it is ok to re-tac as long as you follow the rules above. never pick it up and eat it, and NEVER pick up a bunch and put them back in the box.
5-NEVER ask for a handover when a hosted tac is attempted, in some cultures you can be stoned to death for this.
Basic Rules for the Tacker:
--------------------------
1-Don't be a single Tacker! if you are hosting the tac, never single tac, it's shows you are cheap. I've decided not to do business deals with people because they were single tackers...what does it say about you?
2-Don't be a over-tacker. This ties into number 3. Don't give someone more than three tacs...it's considered showing off (very...tacky).
3-Always offer a handover after the first or second hosted tac. Unless they double tacked first time out or didn't do the show on a hand over, then you always host the tac. If they can't follow the rules...fuck em.
4-Never do a hosted Tac on your own hand. Unless you are doing a third party hosted tac and don't trust that they will do a show and avoid double tacking therefore getting your hand over privileges revoked.
5-If you drop a tic tac during a hosted tac it is ok to re-tac as long as you follow the rules above. Same rules apply about picking the dropped tac(s) up.
6-If a person follows the protocol on a first time hand over it's ok to ask them to take more then one if you like. In this case, it IS insulting not to accept and take a second tac (nobody refuses a second tac, if you do, seek help immediately).
7-It is expected that if you know the person for more than five years, or are a blood relative of first cousin or closer that you do the handover automatically.
8-A show is never expected by direct relatives even on a first time tac.
9-Always offer others in visible site some tic-tacs if you are doing a hand over, don't put the poor tackee in the uncomfortable position of not tacking others when they are not even his tacs to tac.
Let me know if I missed any...
ALRIGHT! Iv'e had it with fucking car magnet/stickers
I kept my mouth shut about these stupid ribbon bumper magnets all over the place, "support the troops", the yellow ribbon, the pink one, the American flag one etc.
It annoyed the piss out of me, but I've gotten used to it, and kept silent about it. Now I am starting to see these goddamn oval white stickers with half ass country codes on them??!! I've seen ones that I have no clue what they mean. Ok, I get FR (France), or UK etc. but AET or PKM...what the fuck?
The worst are the ones that have teenie tiny writing on it that says what it is. I have three thoughts on this.
1-If you have to write an explanation on there...Maybe you don't have a good abbreviation.
2-Even if it is clear, people are still going to ride right up your ass to see what it says. Who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to put this shit on the back of a car in the first place? How many rear-enders will this cause?
3-If you are so proud of the country you come from, then do us all a favor and go the fuck back there. Make more room for me.
If you haven't seen these yet...don't worry you will. The American public are such fuckin drones that as soon as they see the car next door has it, they'll have to get one for their car too, because if we are going to know that the guy next store is from Honduras, then we better damn well know that they are from Ireland. I say Ireland because the Irish are notorious for thinking everyone and their mother gives a flying fuck that they are Irish. the Greeks do this as well except with a sense of pity for you for not being Greek.
They should however force immigrants from "Certain places" to put them on their cars so I know to stay clear in case the fucker blows before it reaches the embassy.
It annoyed the piss out of me, but I've gotten used to it, and kept silent about it. Now I am starting to see these goddamn oval white stickers with half ass country codes on them??!! I've seen ones that I have no clue what they mean. Ok, I get FR (France), or UK etc. but AET or PKM...what the fuck?
The worst are the ones that have teenie tiny writing on it that says what it is. I have three thoughts on this.
1-If you have to write an explanation on there...Maybe you don't have a good abbreviation.
2-Even if it is clear, people are still going to ride right up your ass to see what it says. Who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to put this shit on the back of a car in the first place? How many rear-enders will this cause?
3-If you are so proud of the country you come from, then do us all a favor and go the fuck back there. Make more room for me.
If you haven't seen these yet...don't worry you will. The American public are such fuckin drones that as soon as they see the car next door has it, they'll have to get one for their car too, because if we are going to know that the guy next store is from Honduras, then we better damn well know that they are from Ireland. I say Ireland because the Irish are notorious for thinking everyone and their mother gives a flying fuck that they are Irish. the Greeks do this as well except with a sense of pity for you for not being Greek.
They should however force immigrants from "Certain places" to put them on their cars so I know to stay clear in case the fucker blows before it reaches the embassy.
Is your fuckin radio loud enough?
If any of you understand this phenomenon, please chime in...
This asshole pulls up next to me and his music is so loud that the base is making my rear-view vibrate. How on earth is that pleasurable? how can he possibly enjoy the music that loud. It is this type of self centered jerk off that causes laws to be made that take our rights away. Please at least tell me this idiot knows that he is annoying everyone around him and just doesn't give a fuck. Please tell me that he hates the music this loud, but just wants to piss off all the other idiotic drivers on the road...that I can live with.
You know what I like to do? I like to pull up to him at the next light, get out, get him to roll his window down and pump like 5 or 6 rounds right into the radio. Then, stick my dick in his eye and call it a day. of course, the courts won't let me do that...anymore.
This is the same small pricked, five foot one inch, tough guy wannabee that's weaving in and out of traffic and getting nowhere. The asshole does more horizontal mileage than anything and he's still next to me a 1/2 hour later. All he accomplishes is the irritation of other driver and aggravation of traffic conditions, and I hope he slams right into a tree. You've seen him, he's the guy who at least every five hundred feet veers onto shoulder to avoid rear-ending the guy in front of him. Eventually there's a tree or pole on that shoulder, that's what I hope for. Best part is that since he sits real low with one hand directly on top of the wheel, when the airbag goes off the stupid fake fuckin "Look at me I'm a pimp" ring he wears gets imprinted in his fuckin forehead so we can identify this cretin should we run into him later on should we be unfortunate enough to have him still able to walk.
Nothing I like seeing better than a smashed up grand-am with hair gel splattered on the back window, makes me feel like some justice has been done.
This asshole pulls up next to me and his music is so loud that the base is making my rear-view vibrate. How on earth is that pleasurable? how can he possibly enjoy the music that loud. It is this type of self centered jerk off that causes laws to be made that take our rights away. Please at least tell me this idiot knows that he is annoying everyone around him and just doesn't give a fuck. Please tell me that he hates the music this loud, but just wants to piss off all the other idiotic drivers on the road...that I can live with.
You know what I like to do? I like to pull up to him at the next light, get out, get him to roll his window down and pump like 5 or 6 rounds right into the radio. Then, stick my dick in his eye and call it a day. of course, the courts won't let me do that...anymore.
This is the same small pricked, five foot one inch, tough guy wannabee that's weaving in and out of traffic and getting nowhere. The asshole does more horizontal mileage than anything and he's still next to me a 1/2 hour later. All he accomplishes is the irritation of other driver and aggravation of traffic conditions, and I hope he slams right into a tree. You've seen him, he's the guy who at least every five hundred feet veers onto shoulder to avoid rear-ending the guy in front of him. Eventually there's a tree or pole on that shoulder, that's what I hope for. Best part is that since he sits real low with one hand directly on top of the wheel, when the airbag goes off the stupid fake fuckin "Look at me I'm a pimp" ring he wears gets imprinted in his fuckin forehead so we can identify this cretin should we run into him later on should we be unfortunate enough to have him still able to walk.
Nothing I like seeing better than a smashed up grand-am with hair gel splattered on the back window, makes me feel like some justice has been done.
The Morning News! Holy Shit!
Ok, I know none of you give a shit, but I didn't rant for the past few days because I was stricken with what I am told is a stomach virus. I am fairly convinced the other boys in my office slipped me some anthrax just for the puke footage.Yes, I puked, and my best buddies did film it so they could laugh later!
I did have the pleasure of catching some morning news while I was home for the first time in a few years and have now lost all faith in our society.
There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that 90% of this country are so fucking brainwashed that they may not even be able to be considered human anymore. Has the gene pool on this planet gotten so muddy that we are surrounded by people so dumb that they make a Tennessee inbread look like Albert Einstein?
First off, the morning news people do not even look real. I am convinced that Walt Disney is not dead...they thawed the fucker out like a fucking thanksgiving turkey and he's making animatronics news people. What a bunch of phony fucks! Now they are going to do a story about some asshole saving a kitten or whatever bullshit and put on their fake "isn't that nice" face, when you know damn well they could give a fuck less if they ran the little fuck over with their BMW, and even then they'd probably back over it.
Best part is to watch the underlying panic set in when they have to tell a story that does not have a scripted facial expression. Sure everyone knows it's horrible to leave a baby in a garbage can, or wonderful to help some fuckin gimp kids or something. But what about Martha Stewart? On one hand she's a crook, and on the other hand, loved by million...what do we do now? Just use a blank expression this way the fucking sheep watching this will not know what to feel.
What happened to having a fucking opinion in this country. I want a news guy to say, "She makes a mean set of window treatments, but fuck her! she's a crook". Never happen. We are in a society so scared of being politically correct that we cannot express an idea on a public airwave without Powelll and the ~Nazi~ regime he runs jumping all over people.
I hate everyone on any morning show, or news (propaganda) program. They are king of the mindless sheep and soldiers in the governments army of taming the public...FUCK THEM!
I did have the pleasure of catching some morning news while I was home for the first time in a few years and have now lost all faith in our society.
There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that 90% of this country are so fucking brainwashed that they may not even be able to be considered human anymore. Has the gene pool on this planet gotten so muddy that we are surrounded by people so dumb that they make a Tennessee inbread look like Albert Einstein?
First off, the morning news people do not even look real. I am convinced that Walt Disney is not dead...they thawed the fucker out like a fucking thanksgiving turkey and he's making animatronics news people. What a bunch of phony fucks! Now they are going to do a story about some asshole saving a kitten or whatever bullshit and put on their fake "isn't that nice" face, when you know damn well they could give a fuck less if they ran the little fuck over with their BMW, and even then they'd probably back over it.
Best part is to watch the underlying panic set in when they have to tell a story that does not have a scripted facial expression. Sure everyone knows it's horrible to leave a baby in a garbage can, or wonderful to help some fuckin gimp kids or something. But what about Martha Stewart? On one hand she's a crook, and on the other hand, loved by million...what do we do now? Just use a blank expression this way the fucking sheep watching this will not know what to feel.
What happened to having a fucking opinion in this country. I want a news guy to say, "She makes a mean set of window treatments, but fuck her! she's a crook". Never happen. We are in a society so scared of being politically correct that we cannot express an idea on a public airwave without Powelll and the ~Nazi~ regime he runs jumping all over people.
I hate everyone on any morning show, or news (propaganda) program. They are king of the mindless sheep and soldiers in the governments army of taming the public...FUCK THEM!
Man, does snow brings out the assholes!
Nothing smokes out the assholes like a good heavy snow storm, let me tell you.
Snow starts falling and morons scatter like roaches in Harlem kitchen when the light goes on. First of all, why is it that as soon as the first flurry hits the ground, everyone stops driving? We live in NY people! We've seen more white powder then a Columbian drug lord, you won't melt, drive the fucking car!
And so now it hits...15-20 inches. Now the guy that really makes me crazy is the complete fucking idiot who thinks he can save time by clearing a 1 foot by 1 foot porthole on his windshield through which to see. This fucktard is now driving down the street like a giant marshmallow on wheels, usually driving right down the center of the lanes because he cannot see where the lines are through his peep hole, causing anyone who wants to pass him to go onto the poorly plowed shoulder and risk getting wrecked.
You know what I think when I see that? I think of how wonderful it would be if this asshole smashed right into a pole and they didn't find his mangled body for at least three days because of all the snow on his car. As I think about that, I blissfully smile (convincing the guy next to me that I must be on something).
And if your the guy who cleans off his car except for the foot high topping, you are not doing anyone any fucking favors either. You are just as much of a jerk because just like the driving marshmallow man, as soon as you hit the gas, I get a windshield full of snow. It's inconsiderate and dangerous. Fuck both of you I hope you wreck.
The assholes are not limited to the road either, let's not forget the guy who shovels all the snow from his driveway and walkway right into the middle of the street figuring the plow will take it away. Well, Einstein, there's two problems with your theory! First, until the plow comes by again, everyone coming down the street plows right into the fucking pile you made on a normally clear road. Second, when the plow does come, he doesn't magically take it into snow fairy land...he pushes it straight across your poor neighbor's driveway or across his parked car which he earlier shoveled, and now has to do it again. I hope a car slips on that pile and skids right over you with your plastic fucking shovel.
This also applies to snow blowers. Does it take a fucking genius to realize that you must plow in a direction that does not shoot the snow right into your neighbor's yard? Is this rocket science? And do us a favor, if you are directing it in the street and see a car coming, have the common courtesy to stop for one of your precious seconds while they pass so they don't end up getting stream of snow across his car like a fuckin fire hose as he passes.
I could go on forever, like "gotta go get milk" lady who flocks to the supermarket like we are going to be snowed in for months. Or the "Let's go sleighing down the exit ramp" guy who takes his family sleighing down the on ramp of an expressway right towards traffic...great idea!
Just watch and observe, we are surrounded by self centered, half retarded dickheads...fuck them.
Snow starts falling and morons scatter like roaches in Harlem kitchen when the light goes on. First of all, why is it that as soon as the first flurry hits the ground, everyone stops driving? We live in NY people! We've seen more white powder then a Columbian drug lord, you won't melt, drive the fucking car!
And so now it hits...15-20 inches. Now the guy that really makes me crazy is the complete fucking idiot who thinks he can save time by clearing a 1 foot by 1 foot porthole on his windshield through which to see. This fucktard is now driving down the street like a giant marshmallow on wheels, usually driving right down the center of the lanes because he cannot see where the lines are through his peep hole, causing anyone who wants to pass him to go onto the poorly plowed shoulder and risk getting wrecked.
You know what I think when I see that? I think of how wonderful it would be if this asshole smashed right into a pole and they didn't find his mangled body for at least three days because of all the snow on his car. As I think about that, I blissfully smile (convincing the guy next to me that I must be on something).
And if your the guy who cleans off his car except for the foot high topping, you are not doing anyone any fucking favors either. You are just as much of a jerk because just like the driving marshmallow man, as soon as you hit the gas, I get a windshield full of snow. It's inconsiderate and dangerous. Fuck both of you I hope you wreck.
The assholes are not limited to the road either, let's not forget the guy who shovels all the snow from his driveway and walkway right into the middle of the street figuring the plow will take it away. Well, Einstein, there's two problems with your theory! First, until the plow comes by again, everyone coming down the street plows right into the fucking pile you made on a normally clear road. Second, when the plow does come, he doesn't magically take it into snow fairy land...he pushes it straight across your poor neighbor's driveway or across his parked car which he earlier shoveled, and now has to do it again. I hope a car slips on that pile and skids right over you with your plastic fucking shovel.
This also applies to snow blowers. Does it take a fucking genius to realize that you must plow in a direction that does not shoot the snow right into your neighbor's yard? Is this rocket science? And do us a favor, if you are directing it in the street and see a car coming, have the common courtesy to stop for one of your precious seconds while they pass so they don't end up getting stream of snow across his car like a fuckin fire hose as he passes.
I could go on forever, like "gotta go get milk" lady who flocks to the supermarket like we are going to be snowed in for months. Or the "Let's go sleighing down the exit ramp" guy who takes his family sleighing down the on ramp of an expressway right towards traffic...great idea!
Just watch and observe, we are surrounded by self centered, half retarded dickheads...fuck them.
Don't you hate the "Police Patch Guy"?
Alright, I usually rant about people who directly interfere with my life. But Let's talk about "police patch guy" because although it annoys the fuck out of me that he is driving 40MPH in the left lane, it's just his mediocre mental retardation that makes me nuts. I am not talking about the guy with the couple patches on his dash or the stupid fuckin magnet ribbon to show support, that's fine with me.
But I'd really like to dissect the half/retarded mentality that it takes to be decorate you car like some reject government christmas tree. How many goddamn police patches does it take to get you out of a ticket? I assume that's what they are there for.
I see a guy this morning with 900 fucking police patches all laid out on the ledge of his windshield and back window topped with at least five or six baseball caps with various police/fire/emergency logos on them. Let's not even talk about the dozen or so generic "I support the police" stickers all over his piece of shit 87 pinto. does this guys have anything better to do? Right away, I'd like to drive him off the road.
What is this waste of skin possibly doing that he thinks he needs this stuff all over the car? is he a fucking mass murderer hoping to fool the police into thinking he's their biggest fan? I actually think he somehow in his miniscule mind thinks that somehow he is important because of it...funny thing is that anyone in law enforcement or emergency services knows the guys not involved with any of those organizations directly. Ooooh, maybe people will think he's a cop. Well I think he's an asshole!
If he wasn't such a fuck-up in the first place he would at the very least join a local volunteer police, fire or emergency organization and make a difference instead of creeping along at a snails pace, not making a turn on red (when it is allowed) and otherwise slowing down the rest of us who have shit to do.
The only thing that annoys me as much is the "patch guy", is "loaded stationwagon guy", you know the old guy with more hair coming out of his ears than is on his head,he is in a station wagon that is so loaded with shit that the rear bumper is on the ground. Another close second is girl that has 100 stuffed animals in the back window, although occasionally she's is cute, so I won't be too hard on her. We can only hope in our sick minds that she keeps them in the car to so there is room on her bed to get fucked.
Ok, i'm done for now.
But I'd really like to dissect the half/retarded mentality that it takes to be decorate you car like some reject government christmas tree. How many goddamn police patches does it take to get you out of a ticket? I assume that's what they are there for.
I see a guy this morning with 900 fucking police patches all laid out on the ledge of his windshield and back window topped with at least five or six baseball caps with various police/fire/emergency logos on them. Let's not even talk about the dozen or so generic "I support the police" stickers all over his piece of shit 87 pinto. does this guys have anything better to do? Right away, I'd like to drive him off the road.
What is this waste of skin possibly doing that he thinks he needs this stuff all over the car? is he a fucking mass murderer hoping to fool the police into thinking he's their biggest fan? I actually think he somehow in his miniscule mind thinks that somehow he is important because of it...funny thing is that anyone in law enforcement or emergency services knows the guys not involved with any of those organizations directly. Ooooh, maybe people will think he's a cop. Well I think he's an asshole!
If he wasn't such a fuck-up in the first place he would at the very least join a local volunteer police, fire or emergency organization and make a difference instead of creeping along at a snails pace, not making a turn on red (when it is allowed) and otherwise slowing down the rest of us who have shit to do.
The only thing that annoys me as much is the "patch guy", is "loaded stationwagon guy", you know the old guy with more hair coming out of his ears than is on his head,he is in a station wagon that is so loaded with shit that the rear bumper is on the ground. Another close second is girl that has 100 stuffed animals in the back window, although occasionally she's is cute, so I won't be too hard on her. We can only hope in our sick minds that she keeps them in the car to so there is room on her bed to get fucked.
Ok, i'm done for now.
When did being fat become a handicap?
OK, I know i'm going to take some heat on this one...but fuck it.
Since I am going off on all the self centered assholes in the world this week, let's talk about fat people. I'm not talking general fat people, or spare-tire, beer belly guys. But the morbidly obese, that think because they have a hormone problem (AKA. no self control, and an affinity for chocolate), they should get special privileges.
Ever gone to Disney? or another theme park? can you believe that these fat fucks actually get to jump the line. My thought is that if you are so fat that you cannot stand, then you should not be allowed on a ride. it's a safety hazard for the rest of us. I need to plummet off of a stupid fuckin ferris wheel because "two ton tesse" tips the fucking thing?
You want to be fat...be my guest, but for the love of god, get the fuck out of my way. And, as if that wasn't enough, they give these assholes handicap parking permits. You mean to tell me that because you can down four big Macs in a sitting, I have to freeze my ass off walking across the parking lot while they waddle their fat asses ten feet into the stop-n-shop to buy Hagen Daz and Oreos? You gotta be kidding me! They should make them park at the back of the lot, the walk might do them good. that's what I want, special parking for the morbidly obese. Put those spots 1/2 mile away from the store so they either lose a couple pounds, or have a fucking heart attack. Either way, problem solved. And God forbid you get stuck behind a bus that has to pick one of these pricks up off the street. You may as well pack a lunch and stay a while why the bus driver gets out, lowers the step, and raises the fat bastard into the bus...at least 15 minutes. Fuck them!
P.S. You want to give a handicap parking permit to someone with no self control, how about the drunks? At least you'll make it safer for everyone by stopping these degenerates from driving around the lot.
Ok, I'm done
Since I am going off on all the self centered assholes in the world this week, let's talk about fat people. I'm not talking general fat people, or spare-tire, beer belly guys. But the morbidly obese, that think because they have a hormone problem (AKA. no self control, and an affinity for chocolate), they should get special privileges.
Ever gone to Disney? or another theme park? can you believe that these fat fucks actually get to jump the line. My thought is that if you are so fat that you cannot stand, then you should not be allowed on a ride. it's a safety hazard for the rest of us. I need to plummet off of a stupid fuckin ferris wheel because "two ton tesse" tips the fucking thing?
You want to be fat...be my guest, but for the love of god, get the fuck out of my way. And, as if that wasn't enough, they give these assholes handicap parking permits. You mean to tell me that because you can down four big Macs in a sitting, I have to freeze my ass off walking across the parking lot while they waddle their fat asses ten feet into the stop-n-shop to buy Hagen Daz and Oreos? You gotta be kidding me! They should make them park at the back of the lot, the walk might do them good. that's what I want, special parking for the morbidly obese. Put those spots 1/2 mile away from the store so they either lose a couple pounds, or have a fucking heart attack. Either way, problem solved. And God forbid you get stuck behind a bus that has to pick one of these pricks up off the street. You may as well pack a lunch and stay a while why the bus driver gets out, lowers the step, and raises the fat bastard into the bus...at least 15 minutes. Fuck them!
P.S. You want to give a handicap parking permit to someone with no self control, how about the drunks? At least you'll make it safer for everyone by stopping these degenerates from driving around the lot.
Ok, I'm done
Assholes at 7-11 (or other convenience stores)
Alright, maybe I'm a bit wound up in the morning, but there are two things that drive me insane when online at convenience stores, and everyone reading this is either pissed off about it, or you are one of these jerkoffs yourself... if so, STOP IT!#
1- Lottery ticket guy: First of all, it's 8am there are 100 people online trying to buy their coffee and get on with their miserable lives, fuck their secretary, kick the dog, whatever. Then you look at the front of the line and see him...he sees that there is a long line, knows damn well that it is rush-hour, but yet in the ultimate act of selfishness pulls out a list of 1001 fucking lottery numbers. I can't tell you how much I want to shove that list right down his fucking throat. now I am stuck online with the fat lady and her annoying little yelping dog, and the smelly guy behind me with so much fucking dirt under his fingers that it is crumbling on the floor (he must be a diesel engine repair man). Now, not only is this waste of life, half retarded, sister-fucking lottery asshole going to read off all the numbers, he's going to check them twice before moving and inevitably find an error which is a whole technical nightmare for the poor clerk who fled here to avoid persecution from some middle eastern country. When this happens, this jerkoff has the nerve to look at the long line like "can you believe you are all waiting because this stupid clerk fucked up?". If I had no self control, this ass muncher would be laying in the parking lot with tire marks across his chest. Do your fucking lottery at 2pm when nobody is in a rush you self centered fuck!
#2-Change guy: People, when there is a line at the store, and you get change...it's very simple. You move out of the way and count your godamn change. But not Change guy! He's now not only going to count it, but he's going to sort his money by size of bill and carefully integrate it into the cash in his pocket which usually consists of $32 all small bills (and it's his life savings, I may add). Now this anal retentive retard is going to realize that he has four quarters (God forbid) and ask the clerk to give him a single bill for it, which again is a technical nightmare for a person that just wants to punch buttons give back change, go home, and live their short meaningless life without the added stress of this moron. Just get out of the fucking way! Count your change, whatever you want! let me pay for my fucking cup of coffee and pack of breath mints so I can get out of here without catching lice from the smelly guy behind me. Once you step aside, you can count your change, and sort your bills. Shit, I don't care if you shove those fucking coins up your ass like a slot machine...maybe you'll hit the jackpot and impress lottery guy...you fucking mindless turd. Yes, there is someone else in the universe besides yourself!
I'm not even going near "Check lady" or old "argue about the price" guy.
ok, I'm gonna go take a little blue pill now.
1- Lottery ticket guy: First of all, it's 8am there are 100 people online trying to buy their coffee and get on with their miserable lives, fuck their secretary, kick the dog, whatever. Then you look at the front of the line and see him...he sees that there is a long line, knows damn well that it is rush-hour, but yet in the ultimate act of selfishness pulls out a list of 1001 fucking lottery numbers. I can't tell you how much I want to shove that list right down his fucking throat. now I am stuck online with the fat lady and her annoying little yelping dog, and the smelly guy behind me with so much fucking dirt under his fingers that it is crumbling on the floor (he must be a diesel engine repair man). Now, not only is this waste of life, half retarded, sister-fucking lottery asshole going to read off all the numbers, he's going to check them twice before moving and inevitably find an error which is a whole technical nightmare for the poor clerk who fled here to avoid persecution from some middle eastern country. When this happens, this jerkoff has the nerve to look at the long line like "can you believe you are all waiting because this stupid clerk fucked up?". If I had no self control, this ass muncher would be laying in the parking lot with tire marks across his chest. Do your fucking lottery at 2pm when nobody is in a rush you self centered fuck!
#2-Change guy: People, when there is a line at the store, and you get change...it's very simple. You move out of the way and count your godamn change. But not Change guy! He's now not only going to count it, but he's going to sort his money by size of bill and carefully integrate it into the cash in his pocket which usually consists of $32 all small bills (and it's his life savings, I may add). Now this anal retentive retard is going to realize that he has four quarters (God forbid) and ask the clerk to give him a single bill for it, which again is a technical nightmare for a person that just wants to punch buttons give back change, go home, and live their short meaningless life without the added stress of this moron. Just get out of the fucking way! Count your change, whatever you want! let me pay for my fucking cup of coffee and pack of breath mints so I can get out of here without catching lice from the smelly guy behind me. Once you step aside, you can count your change, and sort your bills. Shit, I don't care if you shove those fucking coins up your ass like a slot machine...maybe you'll hit the jackpot and impress lottery guy...you fucking mindless turd. Yes, there is someone else in the universe besides yourself!
I'm not even going near "Check lady" or old "argue about the price" guy.
ok, I'm gonna go take a little blue pill now.
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